Junie B., First Grader (at last!) Read online

  Laugh out loud with Junie B. Jones!

  #1 Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus

  #2 Junie B. Jones and a Little Monkey Business

  #3 Junie B. Jones and Her Big Fat Mouth

  #4 Junie B. Jones and Some Sneaky Peeky Spying

  #5 Junie B. Jones and the Yucky Blucky Fruitcake

  #6 Junie B. Jones and That Meanie Jim's Birthday

  #7Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren

  #8 Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed

  #9 Junie B. Jones Is Not a Crook

  #10 Junie B. Jones Is a Party Animal

  #11 Junie B. Jones Is a Beauty Shop Guy

  #12 Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy

  #13 Junie B. Jones Is (almost) a Flower Girl

  #14 Junie B. Jones and the Mushy Gushy Valentime

  #15 Junie B. Jones Has a Peep in Her Pocket

  #16 Junie B. Jones Is Captain Field Day

  #17 Junie B. Jones Is a Graduation Girl

  #18 Junie B., First Grader (at last!)

  #19 Junie B., First Grader: Boss of Lunch

  #20 Junie B., First Grader: Toothless Wonder

  #21 Junie B., First Grader: Cheater Pants

  #22 Junie B., First Grader: One-Man Band

  #23 Junie B., First Grader: Shipwrecked

  #24 Junie B., First Grader: BOO … and I MEAN It!

  #25 Junie B., First Grader: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells! (P.S. So Does May.)

  #26 Junie B., First Grader: Aloha-ha-ha!

  #27 Junie B., First Grader: Dumb Bunny

  Top-Secret Personal Beeswax: A Journal by Junie B. (and me!)

  Check out Barbara Park's other great books, listed at the end of this book!

  To my “almost” sisters,

  Kathy Kiefer and Marlene Day.

  You're simply the best.

  1. First-Grade Surprises

  2. More Surprises … Plus Herb

  3. Stumped

  4. Clucks

  5. Bug Bag

  6. The E Game

  7. Good Guessing

  8. Showing-and-Telling

  I put down my pencil. And I looked at what I wrote.

  I did a sigh.

  “I would like to go home now,” I said to just myself.

  “Shh!” said a girl named May. “I'm still trying to do my work.”

  May sits next to me in the back of the room.

  I do not actually care for that girl.

  Just then, my teacher stood up at his desk. His mustache smiled real friendly.

  “Okay, boys and girls. You can stop writing now,” he said. “As I told you earlier, we will be working in our journals quite often this year. In fact, it won't be long until your journal starts feeling like an old friend.”

  I rolled my eyes at the ceiling.

  “What kind of an old friend looks like a dumb notebook?” I said.

  “Shh!” said May again. “You shouldn't talk while the teacher is talking, Junie Jones!”

  I looked at her real annoyed.

  “B.,” I said. “My name is Junie B. I think I have mentioned that to you before, May.”

  I leaned closer to her face.

  “B., B., B., B., B.,” I said.

  After that, I slumped in my seat. And I put my head on my desk.

  I peeked at the other children who sit near me.

  Their names are Herb. And Lennie. And José.

  I do not know them from a hole in the ground.

  I did another sigh.

  First grade is not what it's cracked up to be.

  My room is named Room One.

  I was nervous when I came here yesterday.

  That's how come Daddy had to carry me all the way to the room. ’Cause my legs felt like squishy Jell-O.

  He put me down outside the door.

  “Well, here we are, Junie B.,” he said.

  “First grade. At last.”

  My stomach had flutterflies in it.

  Also, my arms had prickly goose bumps. And my forehead had drops of sweaty.

  “I am a wreck,” I said.

  Daddy smiled very nice.

  “There's nothing to worry about, Junie B. I promise,” he said. “You're going to love first grade. Just think. There's a whole roomful of brand-new friends just waiting to meet you.”

  He ruffled my hair. “Are you ready to go in now?” he asked. “Hmm? Are you ready to begin your first-grade adventure?”

  I looked at him a real long time.

  Then I quick spun around. And I zoomed down the hall as fast as I could!

  Daddy zoomed after me!

  He caught up with me speedy quick. And he carried me back to my class.

  Only this time, he carried me straight into the room!

  As soon as he put me down again, I hid behind his legs.

  ’Cause that place was a zoo, I tell you!

  There were people everywhere! There were girls and boys. And mothers and daddies. And grandmas and grampas. Plus also, there were drooly babies in strollers.

  Then, all of a sudden, my whole mouth came open!

  Because good news! I finally saw someone I knew!

  I jumped up and down and all around.

  “DADDY! DADDY! IT'S LUCILLE!” I hollered. “REMEMBER LUCILLE? LUCILLE WAS MY BESTEST FRIEND FROM KINDERGARTEN LAST YEAR!”

  Lucille was standing at a desk next to the window.

  I ran to her in a jiffy.

  Then I hugged and hugged that girl! And I couldn't even stop!

  “LUCILLE! LUCILLE! IT'S ME! IT'S ME! IT'S YOUR BESTEST FRIEND FROM KINDERGARTEN … JUNIE B. JONES!”

  I tried to pick her up.

  “I AM SO GLAD TO SEE YOU, FRIEND!” I shouted real joyful.

  Lucille pulled my arms off her.

  “Stop it, Junie B.! Stop it!” she said.

  “You're wrinkling my new back-to-school dress! This thing cost a fortune.”

  I stopped hugging her.

  Lucille smoothed and fluffed herself.

  I smoothed and fluffed her, too.

  “There,” I said. “Good as new.”

  After that, I grabbed Lucille's hand. And I started to pull.

  “Come on, Lucille. Let's go find two desks together,” I said. “I think we should sit near the door. Want to? Huh? If we sit near the door, we can stare at people who walk down the hall.”

  Lucille yanked her hand away.

  “No, Junie B. No. I'm going to sit at this desk right here,” she said. “I already picked it out with my two new friends, Camille and Chenille.”

  She pointed at the door.

  “See them over there?” she said. “I met them before you came. They are saying good-bye to their mother. Aren't they precious?”

  I looked at Camille and Chenille.

  And guess what?

  My eyes popped right out of my head!

  Because wowie wow wow!

  Those girls were twins, that's why!

  I sprang way high in the air.

  “TWINS! TWINS! THEY'RE TWINS, LUCILLE! THIS IS OUR LUCKY DAY!”

  I pulled on her again.

  “Come on, Lucille! Let's go touch them! Hurry! Hurry! Before a line forms!”

  Lucille did not budge a muscle.

  “Stop it, Junie B.! Quit pulling on me,” she said. “Camille and Chenille don't want to be touched. And besides, I am their new best friend. Not you.”

  I looked surprised at that girl.

  “Yes, but I can be their bestest friend along with you. Right, Lucille?” I asked. “All I have to do is meet them, right? And then all of us can be bestest friends together.”

  Lucille shook her head.

  “No, Junie B. I'm sorry. But you and I have
already been best friends, remember?” she said. “We were best friends for a whole long year. And so now it's time for Camille and Chenille to get a turn.”

  She did a shrug. “It's only fair of me,” she said. “And besides, their names rhyme with my name. And yours doesn't.”

  She wrinkled her nose very cute. “Camille and Chenille and Lucille. See? Isn't that darling?”

  After that, Lucille gave me a pat.

  “Don't be sad, okay?” she said. “You and I can still be friends, Junie B. Just not on a regular basis.”

  After that, she waved her fingers.

  And she said ta-ta.

  And she skipped to Camille and Chenille.

  Mother and Daddy keep trying to cheer me up about first grade.

  Mother says sometimes life has disappointments in it.

  Daddy says sometimes you have to roll with the punches.

  I say first grade is a flop.

  Last year, I had two bestest friends.

  First, I had Lucille.

  Plus also, I had that Grace.

  Me and that Grace rode the school bus together every single day.

  Only too bad for us. Because this year, Grace got put in a different room than me. And that was not even fair.

  But hurray, hurray! Me and Grace still decided to ride the bus together! Because that's what friendship is for, I think.

  And so last week, both of us sat next to each other … just like we always did!

  Only, what do you know?

  On Monday morning, Grace got on the bus with a new girl from her class. And those two plopped down in the seat right in front of me!

  I quick jumped up. And I tapped on Grace's head.

  “Grace?” I said. “Excuse me. Grace? What kind of shenanigans do you call this, madam? Didn't you see me sitting here?”

  Grace waved at me real friendly.

  “Yes. Hi, Junie B.,” she said. “I'm sorry I can't sit with you today. But I promised Bobbi Jean Piper I would sit with her this morning. Okay?”

  I stamped my foot.

  “No, Grace. Not okay. You can't sit with Bobbi Jean Piper,” I said. “You and I have to sit together every single day. ’Cause we sat together every day last year. And this year shalt be no different.”

  Just then, Mr. Woo, the bus driver, closed the bus door.

  He looked in his mirror at me.

  “Sit down, please, Junie B.,” he said.

  Bobbi Jean Piper pointed and grinned.

  “You got yelled at,” she said kind of mean.

  I made a scary face at that girl.

  “Grr!” I said. “Grr, Bobbi Jean Piper.”

  Behind me, I heard a loud laugh.

  I quick spun around.

  And guess what?

  It was Herb who sits in front of me in Room One!

  “Herb!” I said real surprised. “I didn't even know that you rode this bus!”

  Herb kept on laughing.

  “You said grr!” he laughed. “Grr! Ha! That's a good one!”

  I wrinkled my eyebrows at that boy.

  “Yeah, only here's the problem, Herbert,” I said. “Grr is not actually a joking matter. Plus, I wasn't even talking to you.”

  Herb quit laughing.

  “I know you weren't talking to me,” he said. “No one on this bus ever talks to me. That's because last year I went to a different school. So I don't have any bus friends yet.”

  Just then, the bus stopped at the next corner.

  Herb came around the seat and sat next to me.

  “Maybe, just for today, I can sit here,” he said. “Just until you get your bus friend back, I mean.”

  I tapped on my chin very thinking.

  Then, all of a sudden, I raised my voice real loud.

  “Why, sure you can sit here, Herbert,” I said. “You can sit here forever if you want to! Because I used to have a bus friend named Grace! But today I am dropping her like a hot tomato!”

  Bobbi Jean Piper peeked over the seat at me.

  “You mean potato,” she teased.

  I sprang up again.

  “BOBBI JEAN PIPER WEARS A DIAPER!” I hollered.

  Mr. Woo frowned in the mirror.

  “Sit down, Junie B.!” he grouched.

  I sat down.

  Then I did a big breath. And I looked at Herb.

  “Today is not off to a good start,” I said kind of quiet.

  Herb nodded. “I hear you,” he said.

  I slumped way down in my seat.

  “My bestest friends are dropping like flies,” I said.

  Herb nodded. “Join the club,” he said.

  “First grade is a flop,” I said.

  Herb nodded. “Totally,” he said.

  I looked out the window.

  “Grr,” I said.

  “Grr,” said Herb.

  I smiled to just myself.

  I think I might like this Herb.

  Me and Herb walked to Room One from the bus.

  He waved to Mr. Scary.

  Then I waved, too.

  “I am not even scared of that teacher, hardly,” I said to just myself.

  We kept on walking to our seats.

  May was already sitting at her desk. She was organizing her pencil box.

  Lennie was at his desk, too.

  Only wait till you hear this.

  I didn't even recognize that guy, almost!

  Because Lennie had a thrilling new haircut, that's why!

  It was pointish and spikish and stiffish and straightish.

  That hair can puncture you, I think.

  “Whoa!” I said.

  “Cool!” said Herb.

  “Gel, ” said Lennie.

  “Shh!” said May.

  Just then, José came hurrying down the row. He was rushing real fast. ’Cause the bell was almost ready to ring.

  “Hola, everyone,” he said, out of breath. “Hola, hola.”

  Me and Herb and Lennie looked curious at him.

  José grinned.

  “Whoops,” he said. “Hola means hello in Spanish. I know two different languages, and sometimes I forget which one I'm speaking.”

  “Wow, José!” I said. “You really speak two languages?”

  “Cool,” said Herb.

  “Big deal,” said May. “I know Spanish, too. I can count all the way to three in Spanish. Does anyone want to hear me?”

  The rest of us looked at each other.

  “Not really,” said Herb.

  “Not me,” said Lennie.

  “Me neither,” said José.

  May didn't pay attention to us. “Uno, dos, tres,” she said real loud.

  I leaned nearer to her.

  “Shh!” I said.

  Then everyone laughed and laughed.

  But not May.

  Pretty soon, the bell rang for school.

  Mr. Scary got our morning started.

  First, he took attendance of the children. Then we said, I pledge allegiance to the flag. Plus also, we listened to boring bulletins from the office.

  Finally, Mr. Scary walked to the chalkboard. And he printed a list of words.

  “Boys and girls,” he said. “This morning, I have a fun assignment for you.”

  He winked at us and pointed to the list.

  “I want you to read these words to yourselves,” he said. “Then—without talking to your neighbor—choose any word from the list and draw a picture of it in your journal.”

  May squealed very thrilled.

  “Oh, goody, goody!” she said. “I love this kind of assignment, Mr. Scary. I am perfect at not talking to my neighbor!”

  After that, she quick took a pencil out of her box. And she started to draw.

  I stared at the words.

  Then I tapped on my chin. And I scratched my head.

  ’Cause I didn't actually get this assignment, that's why.

  “Hmm,” I said. “Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.”

  I glanced my eyes at Herb and Lennie and José.

>   All of them were drawing, too.

  I looked back at the board again.

  Then I stretched my neck as far as it could go. And I squinted my hardest.

  But those words had me stumped, I tell you!

  Finally, I reached out to Herb real secret. And I tapped on his back.

  “Psst. Herb,” I whispered. “Quick question. Which word are you drawing?”

  May did a loud gasp.

  She jumped up from her seat and pointed at me.

  “Mr. Scary! Mr. Scary! Junie Jones is talking to her neighbor! See her? She's talking to Herbert. And that is against the rules!”

  I turned my head.

  “Blabber-lips!” I yelled. “Blabber-lips May.”

  Mr. Scary looked back at us.

  His mustache was not smiling.

  I did a gulp.

  Then I quick opened my journal.

  And I started to draw.

  We drew and drew in our journals.

  Mr. Scary waited until all of us were done.

  Then he walked around the room. And he looked at everyone's pictures.

  He gave out shiny gold stars.

  First, he gave stars to Camille and Chenille.

  “What great-looking dogs you drew, girls,” he said. “Look at those floppy ears.”

  Lucille raised her hand.

  “Look at mine, Teacher!” she said. “I drew a cat with pointy ears. See? My rich nanna has an expensive cat just like this. Its fur is a foot thick, almost.”

  Mr. Scary looked strange at her.

  “Really, Lucille? A whole foot of fur?” he said. “My, my.”

  He gave her a gold star and moved on.

  He went to a boy named Roger. Roger was in my same class last year.

  “Excellent job, Roger,” Mr. Scary said. “You drew a man wearing a coat. The words man and coat were both on the board, weren't they?”

  I did a little frown.

  ’Cause none of these words were actually sounding familiar.

  After that, Mr. Scary walked to Sheldon and Shirley.

  “Cool bat and ball, Sheldon,” he said. “And, Shirley! You drew a bat and ball, too, didn't you?”

  I put my head on my desk.

  Something was very wrong here.

  Finally, Mr. Scary got to May.

  “Oh, May,” he said. “What a special clock you drew. The big hand has five fingers. That's very unusual.”

  “Yes,” said May. “I created it myself. Plus, clock was the hardest word up there, wasn't it, Mr. Scary? I am the only one who even knew the word clock, I bet.”