Junie B., First Grader: Dumb Bunny (A Stepping Stone Book(TM)) Read online

  “Springy little lamb! Ha! He called her a springy little lamb! That is a hoot!” I said.

  May heard me talking.

  “It's not funny, Junie Jones. Can't you see what he's doing?” she said. “Sheldon is trying to get in good with Lucille so she'll tell him where the golden egg is hidden. He's just trying to win the playdate to swim in her pool.”

  She followed him with her eyes.

  “He's not going to get away with it, though,” she said.

  After that, she cupped her hands around her mouth. And she shouted after him.

  “You can just forget about it, Sheldon Potts! I'm going to be the one who finds the golden egg! Not you! I've got eyes like a red-tailed hawk!”

  I looked at her very curious.

  May has a lot of bird parts, I believe.

  Also, she is cuckoo.

  And that is not name-calling.

  That is just the truth.

  On Saturday morning, I jumped out of bed very excited.

  ’Cause today was the day of the party, of course!

  “The Easter-egg hunt! The Easter-egg hunt! Today is the day of the Easter-egg hunt!” I sang real loud.

  I ran into Mother and Daddy's room. And I turned on their light.

  “The Easter-egg hunt! The Easter-egg hunt! Today is the day of the Easter-egg hunt!” I sang again.

  Mother opened one eyeball.

  “It's not time to get up yet, Junie B.,” she said. “It's still dark outside. Please go back to bed.”

  I put my head next to her face.

  “Yeah, only I don't think that's actually possible,” I said. “On account of my brain is already activated.”

  Mother put her pillow over her head.

  I lifted it up.

  “I'm going to find the golden egg today,” I said. “I told you about that. Right, Mother? Whoever finds the golden egg gets to swim in Lucille's hot water.”

  I hugged myself very happy.

  “I would love, love, love to swim in hot water,” I said. “Except for Sheldon and May want that prize, too. Plus Lucille loves Sheldon. And so maybe she might give him a hint or something. And a hint would not be good.”

  I did a little frown.

  “Plus here is another problem,” I said. “May has bird parts. And birds can see as good as a hawk.”

  Mother pretended to snore.

  I did a huffy breath at her.

  Sometimes mothers do not act their old age.

  Finally, I put the pillow back on her head. And I went back to my room.

  Then I picked up my stuffed elephant named Philip Johnny Bob. And we skipped to my closet to pick out party clothes.

  We looked at all my hangers.

  “Hmm,” I said. “Hmm, hmm, hmm. What kind of clothes are good egg-hunting clothes, do you think, Phil?”

  Philip tapped on his trunk.

  Well, let's see. Good egg-hunting clothes should be easy to run in, probably. ’Cause when you spot an egg, you will have to beat people to it. Right? he asked.

  “Right,” I said. “Plus good egg-hunting clothes should not be a dress, either. On account of sometimes—when I am beating people to an egg—I will have to tackle them and get in a scuffle.”

  Correct, said Philip. Tackling and scuffling often happens in egg hunts.

  He thought some more.

  Also, good egg-hunting clothes should have big pockets to carry all the eggs you're going to find, he said.

  I nodded. “Yes. Plus good egg clothes have to be pretty. Right, Phil?” I said. “Because this is a fancy party, you know.”

  I know, said Phil. Egg clothes should definitely be pretty … like … like …

  We looked some more.

  Then ha! Both of us spotted the pretty clothes at once!

  “LIKE THOSE BRAND-NEW LAVENDER OVERALLS THAT MOTHER JUST BOUGHT!” we shouted real joyful.

  Phil threw himself way high in the air.

  Yes! Yes! The brand-new lavender overalls will be perfect, Junie B.! ’Cause lavender is ’zactly like purple, almost! And purple is the color of your favorite glasses!

  He flung himself in the air again.

  We are a genius at picking egg clothes! he said.

  “Yes! We are a genius, Philip!” I said back. “I cannot lose the egg hunt in this perfect outfit!”

  After that, I quick put on my lavender overalls.

  And then me and Philip ran to the window.

  And we sat down on the floor.

  And we waited and waited for daylight to come.

  The party was supposed to start at lunch-time.

  There was going to be a picnic before the egg hunt.

  That information was printed right on Lucille's fancy invitation.

  I read it to Mother and Daddy at breakfast.

  “A picnic lunch will be served on the grounds before the event,” I read.

  I smiled.

  “I enjoy eating on the ground,” I said.

  Mother laughed.

  “Oh, I don't think you'll be eating on the ground, Junie B.,” she said. “Grounds are what rich people call their lawns and gardens.”

  I got down from the table and looked outside.

  “Do we have grounds?” I asked.

  Mother rolled her eyes and looked at Daddy.

  “Heavens no, Junie B.,” she said. “What we have is weeds and crabgrass.”

  Daddy sucked in his cheeks at her.

  Weeds and crabgrass is an issue, apparently.

  After breakfast, I waited for it to be time to leave.

  It was the longest morning I ever saw.

  Then finally, finally, finally! Daddy said it was time to go. And so I ran to the car lickety-split!

  Lickety-split is the grown-up word for zippedy fast.

  It took forever to get to Lucille's house.

  We drove and drove and drove.

  Then whew! At last! We turned down Lucille's long driveway!

  “Lucille's house! Lucille's house! We're finally at Lucille's house!” I shouted out.

  I leaned my nose against the window.

  “Remember when I came here last year, Daddy?” I said. “Me and my friend Grace spent the night at this place! And I ate dinner and breakfast with her rich, expensive nanna!”

  Then … oh my gosh!

  I saw her!

  I saw the rich, expensive nanna!

  She was standing there with Lucille's mother and daddy and brother. They were welcoming all the cars.

  I opened my door and I ran to her.

  “WELL, WELL, WELL! WE MEET AGAIN, NANNA!” I hollered real happy.

  Then I hugged my arms around her middle. And I tried to lift her off the ground. Only she didn't actually budge that good.

  I stepped back and looked at her.

  The nanna had put on a few pounds, I believe.

  After that I tried to lift her again. But this time, she took my arms away.

  “Oh dear, no, young lady. You mustn't try to pick me up,” she said. “You'll hurt yourself.”

  I looked at her kind of puzzled.

  “Yeah, only I'm not a young lady, Nanna,” I said. “Look! See? It's me! It's Junie B. Jones!”

  I pointed at my face.

  “Don't you remember me? Huh? I spent the night here with Lucille and Grace. Remember that, Nanna? It was the time of our life!” I said.

  The nanna looked closer at me.

  Then, all of a sudden, drops of sweaty came on her head.

  She took out a tissue and dabbed herself.

  “Oh my. Oh dear. Yes, I remember now,” she said.

  She did a little shiver.

  “Junie B. Jones … I remember you well.”

  I skipped around her in a circle.

  “Today is going to be fun, right, Nanna?

  Today I am going to find the golden egg!”

  After I skipped, I held out my hand to do a high five. But the nanna didn't actually respond. And so I just swatted at her sleeve, and that's all.


  Just then, another car drove up in the driveway.

  I turned around.

  And oh boy, oh boy!

  It was my good friend named Shirley!

  Plus after Shirley came Sheldon! And after Sheldon came Roger! And after Roger came Camille and Chenille, and Herbert, and José, and Lennie.

  And then all the rest of the children in Room One came, too!

  Only wait till you hear this!

  I didn't see you-know-who.

  I looked all around to be sure.

  Then I crossed my fingers for luck.

  And I hoped that maybe May wouldn't show up at all. ’Cause maybe she would forget that the party was today, possibly

  I thought a minute.

  Or else maybe her daddy's car would get four flat tires …

  Or maybe his battery would go dead …

  Or maybe his muffler would fall off in the middle of the street.

  I thought some more and did a grin.

  Or else maaaaybe May was playing in her backyard this morning. And she bent over to tie her shoe. And FLOOF! She got carried off by a North American barn owl!

  I bent over and laughed out loud.

  Now that was a good one!

  Just as I was getting hope … another car pulled up.

  And phooey!

  Sitting in the backseat was—

  “MAY! MAY! MAY'S HERE!” she shouted through the open window.

  She was clapping and cheering for herself.

  Then she jumped out of the car.

  And she ran to Lucille's family.

  And she started shaking all their hands.

  “Hello! Hello! I'm May! And I've come to win the golden egg!” she told them.

  She skipped to Lucille and held out her dress.

  “Look, Lucille! Look! Look! My dress is frilly just like yours!” she said. “I gave this outfit a lot of thought. ’Cause I wanted us to look like best friends today!”

  She threw her arm around Lucille's shoulder.

  Sheldon ran up and took it off.

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa. You'll have to pick someone else to be your best friend, May,” he said. “Lucille is my best friend these days. Remember?”

  May stood there a second. Then she leaned into Sheldon's face.

  “You're not fooling anyone, Mr. Potts. You're just pretending to like Lucille, the same as I am,” she said. “You're just trying to get her to tell you where the golden egg is.”

  Lucille looked shocked at that comment.

  “That's not true! Is it, Sheldon? You're not just pretending to like me, right?” she asked. “’Cause I told you before … I don't know where the golden egg is. My daddy hid it all by himself. And he wouldn't let me peek.”

  She glanced at her daddy very annoyed.

  “I tried to make him tell me where he hid it, Shelsie. But Daddy locked his lips. And he threw away the key.”

  Sheldon clenched his fists.

  “Drat! The old invisible-key trick,” he said. “I hate that one!”

  Finally, he took a breath and calmed himself down.

  Then he patted Lucille very sweet.

  “Don't worry, my springy little lamb,” he said. “I will still find the golden egg and win the playdate. I'm positive I will.”

  He lowered his voice kind of private.

  “I'm wearing a lucky charm today,” he said real soft.

  Lucille's mouth came open at that news.

  “A lucky charm?” she shouted. “You have a lucky charm? What is it, Shelsie? What is it?”

  Sheldon pointed down at his shirt.

  “See that little egg dribble on my collar right there?” he asked. “That little egg dribble ran off my chin at breakfast. And look, Lucille … it landed on my collar, in the exact shape of—”

  He paused real dramatic.

  “… an egg,” he whispered.

  Lucille did a shiver.

  “Ooooh, Shelsie! That seems like magic, almost,” she said.

  Sheldon nodded.

  “I know it, Lucille. It seems exactly like magic, almost,” he said. “My grampa Ned has had every shirt stain in the book. And he said that when egg dribble lands in the shape of an egg, it means—”

  Sheldon swallowed hard.

  “… may the egg be with me.”

  Lucille did another shiver.

  Sheldon smiled.

  “With a magic-egg shirt like this, I can't lose today, Lucille,” he said. “I just can't.”

  After that, he hurried over to the nanna. And he tried to show her his egg shirt. But the nanna backed up from him.

  Then she quick grabbed Lucille's daddy. And she said the words, Do something!

  The daddy cleared his loud throat.

  “Boys and girls. May I please have your attention?” he said. “First, I would like to welcome you all to the party today.”

  Lucille hopped in front of him.

  “Yes! Yes! Welcome to my party! And welcome to my giant house. And welcome to my big, huge yard, too!”

  She bent down and touched the grass.

  “See how perfect the lawn is cut, everyone?” she said. “That's because we have a real professional gardener. On account of rich people don't know the first thing about yard work. Right, Daddy? Plus rich people don't like to get our hands dirty.”

  Everyone looked at the daddy's hands.

  He quick put them in his pockets.

  Lucille kept on talking.

  “And did everyone see my brand-new, expensive Easter dress?” she asked.

  She spun around and flounced herself.

  “This dress is made out of fancy, floaty chiffon. And fancy, floaty chiffon is as light as a feather,” she said.

  She fluffed her flouncy skirt.

  “Who would like me to hop in the air and make it float? Please clap your hands,” she said.

  But before we could clap, Lucille already started hopping.

  She hopped and hopped until sweaty came on her lip.

  Then Lucille's mother quick ran over. And she dabbed her face with a tissue.

  I looked at Herbert.

  “This family has some serious perspiration issues, I believe,” I said.

  Just then, Lucille's daddy cleared his loud throat again.

  “Children, as all of you know, we're going to be having a picnic and an Easter-egg hunt today. But for this party to go smoothly, we're going to need your complete cooperation. Okay?” he asked.

  “OKAY!” we shouted back. “OKAY! OKAY!”

  The daddy smiled.

  “The first thing I'd like you to do is get into a nice straight line,” he said.

  “A NICE STRAIGHT LINE! A NICE STRAIGHT LINE!” we shouted again.

  Room One is excellent at repeating things.

  The daddy looked at us.

  “Okay. Fine. As I was saying, if you get into a nice straight line, we'll lead you to the picnic grounds in the back of the house.”

  “THE BACK OF THE HOUSE! THE BACK OF THE HOUSE!” we hollered out.

  The daddy stopped smiling.

  We were starting to get on his nerves, I think.

  Next to him, Lucille's mother and nanna were doing deep breathing.

  The brother had already gone inside to watch TV.

  Finally, all of us got in a nice straight line.

  Then the mother and daddy and nanna did a group hug with each other.

  And they led us to the picnic grounds.

  AND WOWIE WOW WOW!

  I could not believe my eyeballs!

  ’Cause on the way, we passed Lucille's hugie big swimming pool! And it was inside a big glass house!

  All of Room One did a gasp at that sight!

  I ran to Lucille and hugged her around the middle.

  “Lucille! Lucille! You are even richer than you used to be! Your swimming pool is in a big glass house now! And so my play-date with you will be even funner than I thought!”

  Lucille took my hands off her.

  “Silly Junie B. Jones. Y
ou know the rules. If you want the playdate, you're going to have to find the golden egg. And that's not going to be easy. Because my boyfriend Shelsie is wearing his magic-egg shirt,” she said.

  She looked at Sheldon and did a wink.

  Sheldon winked back.

  May was watching that action.

  “Hey, hey, hey!” she grouched. “That better not be a secret wink about the golden egg. ’Cause if you're winking about the golden egg, I'm telling!”

  She poked Sheldon with her finger.

  “I'm going to be watching every move you make, Sheldon Potts,” she said. “I'm going to be all over you like a cheap suit.”

  I did a frown at that comment.

  I do not know what a cheap suit means, exactly.

  But here is what I do know.

  For the first time in my life, May was right, I think.

  Whoever wanted to find the golden egg could not let Sheldon out of their sight.

  Lucille's daddy clapped his loud hands together.

  “Boys and girls, please find a seat at one of the picnic tables. Lunch will be served shortly,” he called.

  I waited to see where Sheldon was going to sit.

  May waited, too.

  ’Cause both of us had to keep track of that guy, of course.

  Only too bad for me.

  Because as soon as Sheldon picked a table, Lucille sat down next to him.

  And VAROOM!

  May slid in on his other side.

  And I got shut out!

  “Wait! Hold it! No fair!” I said.

  Then I quick tried to squeeze myself between May and Sheldon. But May would not budge herself.

  I did a grr face at her.

  May hissed like a snake.

  I stood there very puzzled.

  I do not actually have a comeback for a hiss.

  Finally, I went to the other side of the table. And I sat down across from them.

  “That dumb May,” I grumped to just myself. “She keeps getting one step ahead of me today. Plus Sheldon is one step ahead of me, too.”

  I looked across the table.

  Lucille was whispering to Sheldon very secret.

  May leaned her head over. And she listened through Sheldon's other ear.

  Whispers can come right through Sheldon's head, apparently.

  I put my chin in my hands.

  “I don't stand a chance in this stupid egg hunt,” I said to Herb.

  He gave me a little pat.

  Sometimes a little pat is all a friend can do.