Junie B. Jones Is Not a Crook Read online

  I didn’t even put my mouth on the spout. ’Cause there’s lip dirt on that thing of course.

  I sloshed the water all around in my cheeks.

  Then I bended my head way back. And I did some gargles.

  I can gargle very perfect. Except I can’t keep the water in my actual mouth.

  It runned out the sides and dribbled on the floor.

  I splashed in it with my toe.

  That’s when I saw something very wonderful down there.

  “Hey! It’s one of those pens that writes four different colors!” I said.

  I quick picked it up and pushed the little red button on the top.

  A red pen popped out the bottom.

  I scribbled red scribble all over my hand.

  “Wowie wow wow! I love this thing!” I said.

  After that, I pushed the green button and scribbled green scribble. And I pushed the blue button and scribbled blue scribble. Plus also I pushed the black button and scribbled black scribble.

  “This pen makes scribbling a pleasure,” I said.

  I put it in my pocket and started skipping to Room Nine.

  Only too bad for me. ’Cause all of a sudden, I remembered about the Lost and Found.

  I stopped.

  “Oh no. I wish I didn’t even remember about that,” I said. “Now I have to take my pen to the Lost and Found. Or else I won’t wear a grin.”

  I did a frown. ’Cause something didn’t make sense here, that’s why.

  “Yeah, only I was already wearing a grin,” I said. “I weared a grin as soon as I saw this wonderful thing. And so taking it to the office will only make me sad.”

  I tapped on my chin.

  “Hmm. Maybe Principal is a little mixed up about this,” I said to just myself. “I’m pretty sure I will be happier if I keep it.

  “And here’s another thing I am thinking. I am thinking whoever owned this pen didn’t even take good care of it. So I will give it a good home. And so what can be a gooder deed than that?”

  I took it out of my pocket and looked at it.

  “Plus this even makes sense. ’Cause first I got my mittens stolen. And then I couldn’t have the teddy backpack. And so keeping this pen is fair and square.”

  All of a sudden, my whole face lighted up. ’Cause I just thought of a different poem, that’s why!

  And it is called Finders keepers, losers weepers!

  “Finders keepers, losers weepers!” I said real thrilled. “Finders keepers, losers weepers!”

  Then I jumped up and down very happy. ’Cause everybody says that! And so Finders keepers is really the rule, I bet!

  After that, I put my pen back in my pocket.

  And I skipped the rest of the way to Room Nine.

  6/My Grampa’s Wallet

  I kept my pen in my pocket the whole rest of the day.

  I didn’t want people to see it. Or else they might tattletale to Mrs. And she would make me take it to the Lost and Found.

  I behaved myself very good. ’Cause I didn’t want to ’tract ’tention, that’s why.

  I kept my hand in my pocket so my pen would not fall out.

  Also, I kept thinking about my mittens. ’Cause I still missed those furry guys.

  I put my head down on my table.

  “Maybe my grampa Miller might buy me some more furry mittens,” I whispered. “’Cause that would be a perfect solution, I think.”

  I raised up my head.

  “Hey, yeah! Then I would have wonderful new mittens, plus a wonderful new pen. And so what more can a girl ask for? That’s what I’d like to know!”

  I sat up in my chair and tapped on Lucille.

  “Guess what, Lucille? Maybe my grampa Frank Miller might buy me some new mittens. And then all my troubles will be over.”

  Lucille said whoop-de-do for me.

  “I know it is whoop-de-do,” I said real thrilled. “And so, thank you for your support.”

  After school, me and my bestest friend named Grace rode the bus together.

  I runned home from my corner like a speedy bullet.

  My grampa Frank Miller was babysitting my brother named Ollie.

  “GRAMPA FRANK MILLER! GRAMPA FRANK MILLER! WE GOTTA GO TO THE MITTEN STORE! WE GOTTA GO TO THE MITTEN STORE!” I hollered real loud.

  Grampa Frank Miller was in the living room rocking Ollie.

  He looked funny at me.

  “Go where?” he asked.

  “TO THE MITTEN STORE! TO THE MITTEN STORE! WE GOTTA GO TO THE MITTEN STORE!”

  I pulled on his hand.

  “GET UP! GET UP! LET’S GET A WIGGLE ON!”

  Grampa Miller looked confused at me.

  That’s how come I had to sit down. And I told him what happened at school.

  “Someone stoled my mittens,” I said. “They stoled them while I was being Brownie. And I didn’t even know there were crooks at that place.”

  Grampa Frank Miller shook his head very sad.

  “I guess you can find crooks almost anywhere, honey,” he said.

  “I know it,” I told him. “That’s how come I’m never going to see those furry guys again. And so you and me have to go to the mitten store.”

  I felt in his back pocket. Then I danced around real thrilled.

  “Hurray!” I shouted. “Hurray for your big fat wallet! ’Cause you got cash in there. Right, Grampa? Right? Right?”

  Grampa Frank Miller laughed.

  “Yes, I do. I’ve got cash all right,” he said. “But I’m afraid we won’t be able to buy you more mittens. The mittens I bought you were the only furry ones they had left. I bought the very last pair.”

  Just then, all the happy went right out of me. ’Cause I didn’t actually count on this terrible development.

  “Yeah, only we have to, Grampa. We have to buy more furry mittens. Or else what will I even do?”

  Grampa Miller ruffled my hair.

  “Did you look in the Lost and Found at school?” he asked.

  I did a sad breath. “Yeah, only that dumb thing doesn’t work that good. ’Cause people don’t always turn stuff in.”

  I patted my new pen in my pocket.

  “Trust me on this,” I said real soft.

  “Well, your mittens could still turn up,” he said. “Folks will surprise you sometimes.”

  Then he told me a story about his wallet.

  “A few years ago I lost my wallet at the mall. I was sure I would never ever see it again,” he said.

  I bobbed my head up and down. “I know it. That’s because of Finders keepers, losers weepers,” I said. “Finders keepers, losers weepers is the rule. Right, Grampa?”

  Grampa Miller smiled.

  “Well, it might be the rule for some people,” he said. “But luckily, it’s not the rule for everyone. Because the very next day—when I went out to get my mail—there it was! My wallet was sitting right smack in the middle of my mailbox! And not one single penny was missing!”

  His eyes looked happy and sparkly.

  “Can you imagine that, little girl?” he asked. “Someone had the chance to take everything in my wallet. But instead, they drove all the way to my house. And they put it in my mailbox.”

  Just then, he reached in his back pocket and pulled out his wallet.

  “Look what I would have lost if they hadn’t returned it,” he said.

  He took a picture out of his wallet. And handed it to me.

  “It’s you and a baby,” I said.

  “But that’s not just any baby,” he said. “That’s you, Junie B.! That’s a picture of the very first time I ever held you.”

  He took the picture back and stared and stared at it.

  “Nicest thing a stranger ever did for me…bringing this picture back,” he whispered real soft.

  Then he leaned over again.

  And he kissed me on my head.

  7/The Pink Fluffy Girl

  After I talked to my grampa, I went to my room.

  I closed my door re
al secret.

  Then I took my wonderful pen out of my pocket. And I did a big sigh.

  ’Cause I had confusion in me, that’s why.

  “I wish I never even heard that wallet story,” I said. “’Cause Finders keepers, losers weepers isn’t the rule, apparently. And so now maybe I might be a crook.”

  I looked at my wonderful pen.

  “Yeah, only I don’t even feel like a crook. I feel like a lucky duck. But I still have to take this thing to the Lost and Found, probably. And then it will go to waste just like the teddy backpack.”

  All of a sudden, I heard Mother and Daddy come home from work.

  I quick hided my pen under my mattress. ’Cause those two would not be understanding of this situation.

  They came in my room and kissed me hello.

  I told them what happened to my mittens.

  Then I begged and begged for them to take me to the store. But Mother said there’s no more left. And Daddy said there’s no more left, too. And so there was no more left, apparently.

  That’s how come I got depressed all over again. And I couldn’t even sleep good that night.

  I kept on wondering about who was the mitten crook. And what did he look like. ’Cause I’ve seen crooks on TV before. And they are biggish and meanish with tattoos on theirselves.

  Just then, I sat up in my bed.

  ’Cause a good idea popped into my head, that’s why!

  “Hey, a tattoo is easy to spot, I bet!” I said. “And so maybe I can find that crook on the playground tomorrow!”

  After that, I went right straight to sleep. ’Cause I would need my strength for crook-looking.

  The next day at recess, I didn’t play horses with Lucille and that Grace.

  Instead, I runned all around the playground looking for the mitten crook.

  Only too bad for me. ’Cause most of the children had their jackets on. And so I couldn’t even see any crooks with tattoos.

  Pretty soon, the bell rang.

  That is when my eyes got tears in them. ’Cause I would never see my mittens again. Not ever, ever, never.

  I started walking to Room Nine.

  My nose was sniffling and drippity.

  I wiped it on my attractive jacket sleeve.

  Then—all of a sudden—a pink fluffy girl skipped past me.

  She had on a pink fluffy dress. With pink fluffy socks and shoes. And a pink fluffy jacket made of pink fluffy fur.

  And guess what else?

  SHE HAD BLACK FURRY MITTENS IN HER PINK FLUFFY POCKETS!

  My eyes got big and wide!

  “HEY! MY MITTENS! MY MITTENS! MY MITTENS!” I screamed real loud.

  Then I put my head down. And I zoomed at her like a speeding bull.

  Mrs. saw me running. She grabbed me by my attractive winter jacket.

  I jumped up and down and pointed.

  “THAT PINK FLUFFY GIRL STOLED MY MITTENS! SHE IS THE CROOK! ONLY HER JACKET IS COVERING UP HER TATTOO! AND SO THAT’S WHAT HAD ME STUMPED!”

  Mrs. called to the pink fluffy girl.

  She skipped over to where we were.

  I kept on jumping.

  “YOU STOLED THEM! YOU STOLED MY MITTENS!” I said.

  “No, I didn’t,” she said back. “I didn’t steal anything. I found these mittens. They were right in the grass. And so I thought nobody wanted them.”

  “I did!” I yelled. “I wanted them! My grampa Miller bought them for no good reason. And I have been worrying about them all day. And all night. And that is called heartache, madam!”

  Mrs. said to hush my voice.

  She took my mittens away from the pink fluffy girl. And gave them back to me.

  Then she bended down. And she talked to the pink fluffy girl real serious.

  “Even if you thought no one wanted these mittens, it was wrong of you to take them,” she told her.

  The pink fluffy girl pointed at me.

  “But she didn’t even take good care of them,” she said.

  I stamped my foot.

  “Yes, I did! I did too take care of them! I left them with my attractive winter jacket. ’Cause I didn’t even know there was crooks at this place!”

  Mrs. said hush to me again.

  “You should have taken them to the Lost and Found,” she told the pink fluffy girl.

  “Yeah! ’Cause then I would have found them when I looked there!” I said. “And so what do you think that box is there for? My health?”

  The pink fluffy girl started to cry.

  “But I really, really love them,” she said.

  Mrs. smoothed her hair.

  “I’m afraid that’s not the issue,” she said.

  “Yeah, we’re afraid that’s not the issue,” I said. “’Cause Finders keepers isn’t the rule, apparently. And so from now on, if you find my stuff, you have to take it to the Lost and Found. Plus also you can put it in my grampa’s mailbox.”

  Mrs. looked at me a real long time.

  She said I am getting on her nerves.

  After that, she held the pink fluffy girl’s hand. And they went to talk to her teacher.

  I quick put my mittens on.

  Then I buried my face in their black furry fur.

  And I danced around real joyful.

  8/I Am Not a Crook

  The next day, I went to Principal’s office.

  The grouchy typing lady looked over the counter at me.

  I rocked back and forth on my feet.

  “Yeah, only I’m not even bad, again,” I said. “I just need to go to the Lost and Found, and that’s all.”

  The grouchy typing lady opened up the closet. She pulled out the big box.

  Just then, the phone rang. And she hurried up to answer it.

  I quick bended down and digged my hands in the Lost and Found.

  Then my heart got very thrilled. ’Cause I saw that wonderful teddy backpack again, that’s why!

  I snuggled my face in his tummy.

  “Mmm…I still love this softy guy,” I whispered.

  I put him on my back and skipped all around.

  The grouchy typing lady hanged up the phone.

  “Did you lose that, too?” she asked me. “Is that why you’re here?”

  I kept on standing there and standing there.

  “Wellll?” she said.

  Finally, I did a big sigh.

  Then I walked very slow back to the box. And I took off the teddy backpack.

  “No,” I said. “Not why.”

  After that, I reached in my pocket. And I pulled out my wonderful pen.

  “I found this,” I said. “It was on the floor by the water fountain. And I really, really love it. Only that is not the issue.”

  Then I did a big, deep breath. And I dropped my wonderful pen into the Lost and Found.

  “I am not a crook,” I said kind of quiet.

  The grouchy typing lady looked nicer at me. She ruffled my hair.

  “No,” she said. “Of course you’re not a crook.”

  After that, I rocked back and forth on my feet some more. And I waited and waited and waited.

  The typing lady raised up her eyebrows at me.

  “I’m waiting for the grin,” I explained. “Only there seems to be a delay.”

  She laughed right out loud.

  That’s when I felt it.

  The grin.

  It came right on my face!

  “Hey! It’s working! It’s working!” I said real squealy.

  I skipped all around the office very happy.

  Then the typing lady opened up the door. And I skipped all the way to Room Nine.

  And guess what?

  I didn’t even find a pen that writes four different colors!

  And that was a big relief!

  Laugh out loud with Junie B. Jones!

  #1 Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus

  #2 Junie B. Jones and a Little Monkey Business

  #3 Junie B. Jones and Her Big Fat Mouth

 
#4 Junie B. Jones and Some Sneaky Peeky Spying

  #5 Junie B. Jones and the Yucky Blucky Fruitcake

  #6 Junie B. Jones and That Meanie Jim’s Birthday

  #7 Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren

  #8 Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed

  #9 Junie B. Jones Is Not a Crook

  #10 Junie B. Jones Is a Party Animal

  #11 Junie B. Jones Is a Beauty Shop Guy

  #12 Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy

  #13 Junie B. Jones Is (almost) a Flower Girl

  #14 Junie B. Jones and the Mushy Gushy Valentime

  #15 Junie B. Jones Has a Peep in Her Pocket

  #16 Junie B. Jones Is Captain Field Day

  #17 Junie B. Jones Is a Graduation Girl

  #18 Junie B., First Grader (at last!)

  #19 Junie B., First Grader: Boss of Lunch

  #20 Junie B., First Grader: Toothless Wonder

  #21 Junie B., First Grader: Cheater Pants

  #22 Junie B., First Grader: One-Man Band

  #23 Junie B., First Grader: Shipwrecked

  #24 Junie B., First Grader: BOO…and I MEAN It!

  #25 Junie B., First Grader: Jingle Bells, Batman Smells! (P.S. So Does May.)

  #26 Junie B., First Grader: Aloha-ha-ha!

  #27 Junie B., First Grader: Dumb Bunny

  Top-Secret Personal Beeswax: A Journal by Junie B. (and me!)

  Junie B.’s Essential Survival Guide to School

  Barbara Park says:

  “Finders keepers, losers weepers…

  I used to love that poem when I was little. Whenever I would find a ‘treasure’ in the street, I would pick it up—happily sing Finders keepers, losers weepers—and carry it right home.

  Then came the day that I accidentally left my brand-new red shoes in the girls’ bathroom at school. By the time I ran back for them, they were already gone.

  Now someone else was singing Finders keepers, losers weepers. And suddenly, I didn’t like that stupid poem at all!

  I still don’t!

  (And by the end of this book, neither does Junie B. Jones!)”

  Text copyright © 1997 by Barbara Park

  Illustrations copyright © 1997 by Denise Brunkus

  All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. Published in the United States by Random House, Inc., New York, and simultaneously in Canada by Random House of Canada Limited, Toronto.