Junie B., First Grader: One-Man Band Read online

  Daddy came home from work to help me again. He tried to help me juggle for hours and hours and hours.

  Only the most I could ever juggle was two dumb lemons.

  And two dumb lemons is not even juggling.

  Two dumb lemons is just throwing lemons in the air and catching them.

  I am not going to school tomorrow.

  And I mean it.

  I glanced my eyes all around the room.

  The children in Room One looked very cute.

  The kickball players were wearing matching red-and-white shirts. All of their shirts said “WE ARE (ROOM) NUMBER ONE!”

  The cheerleaders matched each other, too. They had on red skirts and white sweaters.

  I looked at Sheldon.

  His daddy's band jacket was way too giant. And his band hat came over his ears.

  He looked like a nitwit, too.

  I put my head down on my desk very glum.

  My oatmeal-box hat fell on the floor.

  May started to laugh.

  “I hope that doesn't happen when you juggle today, Junie Jones,” she said very meanish.

  She raised her eyebrows.

  “You are going to juggle, aren't you?”

  I didn't answer that girl.

  Instead, I turned my head to the wall. And I closed my eyes. And I wished to turn invisible.

  I wished and wished with all my might.

  Then, finally, I opened my eyes again. And I turned back to May. And I stuck out my tongue at her.

  She stuck out hers right back at me.

  I did a sigh.

  Bad news.

  I wasn't invisible.

  At ten o'clock we went to the softball field.

  There were a million jillion parents there, I bet.

  Mother and Daddy were sitting on the first row of the bleachers. Grampa and Grandma Miller were sitting right next to them. They were holding my baby brother named Ollie.

  He was mooing.

  All of them waved at me.

  I did not wave back.

  ’Cause I was still trying to be invisible, of course.

  Me and Sheldon sat down together.

  He looked at the people in the bleachers. Then he quick turned around again. And he pulled his band hat over his face. And he giggled very nutty.

  “Please stop doing that,” I said. “You are just calling attention to ourself.”

  Sheldon put a cymbal on his head.

  I rolled my eyes at that dumb guy. Then I hid my face in my skirt. And I didn't watch the tournament.

  There were two games going on at once.

  Room One was playing Room Two. And Room Three was playing Room Four.

  I could hear the cheerleaders cheering real loud.

  Room One was winning, I think.

  I listened to the cheering for a very long time.

  Then, all of a sudden, I heard lots of whistles and yelling.

  I looked up to see what happened.

  And oh no! Oh no!

  Room One had just won the first game! And now it was time for halftime!

  Mr. Scary came over to get us.

  I tried to hide behind Sheldon. But Mr. Scary already saw me.

  He said it is perfectly normal for me to be nervous. But I should just relax and try to enjoy myself.

  “This is going to be a day you'll never forget,” he told me.

  My skin did a shiver. “Yeah, only that's exactly what I'm afraid of,” I said.

  After that, Mr. Scary took me and Sheldon by our hands. And he walked us to the field.

  My legs felt like Silly String.

  Mr. Scary went out to the microphone. And he made a 'nouncement to the people.

  “Welcome to our halftime show, everyone,” he said. “While Rooms One and Four are resting for the final game of the tournament, two of my students will present some very special entertainment.”

  He winked at me and Sheldon.

  “Ladies and gentlemen … boys and girls … I am proud to present the musical genius of Sheldon Potts … and the unique talents of Junie B. Jones!”

  As soon as he finished, he pointed at me and Sheldon. And he gave us the signal to go.

  Sheldon did a whimper.

  He did not move.

  I looked at his face.

  It was the color of paste.

  Mr. Scary hurried over. And he gave Sheldon a nudge.

  “Okay, you two. Go! Go! Go!” he said. “Take off!”

  Very slow, I raised up my woodblock. And I hit it with my drumstick real light.

  Tap.

  “Louder,” said Mr. Scary. “You've got to play it louder, Junie B. And with a little bit of pep, okay?”

  I took a big breath.

  Tap … tap … tap.

  Mr. Scary nodded. “Yes, yes! Better!” he said.

  I swallowed hard.

  TAP! TAP! TAP!

  Mr. Scary gave me a thumbs-up. “That's it, Junie B.! That's it!” he said. “Keep it up!”

  I kept it up.

  TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP!

  Then pretty soon, my feet started tapping, too! And they marched me right onto the field!

  I looked behind me.

  Sheldon was still standing on the sideline.

  His face looked even pastier.

  I ran back there and tugged on his arm.

  “Come on, Sheldon! Let's go!” I said.

  Sheldon plopped down in the grass.

  “No, no! I can't, I can't!” he said.

  I made a fist at that boy.

  “Oh, yes, you can, Sheldon! You've got to! You've got to! This whole stupid show was your idea! And I'm NOT doing it by myself!”

  After that, I helped Sheldon stand up. And I pulled him onto the field.

  And that's when the worstest thing of all happened!

  ’Cause Room Two started laughing their heads off at us!

  And it was the meanest laughing I ever even heard!

  Sheldon froze very stiff.

  He stood there like a statue. And he wouldn't even budge.

  Then—all of a sudden—CRASH!

  He dropped his cymbals.

  And he ran across the playground as fast as a speedboat!

  One of the teachers ran after him. But Sheldon zoomed faster and faster.

  Then he ran behind the swing sets.

  And he circled around the monkey bars.

  And he kept running and running till he was all the way behind the school.

  And what do you know?

  Sheldon never came back.

  Room Two laughed even louder.

  Rooms Three and Four laughed, too.

  I hated that mean noise!

  I hated it!

  Tears came in my eyes. And my nose started sniffling very much.

  I hanged my head so no one could see.

  And ha!

  That's when I spotted them!

  Sheldon's cymbals!

  They were still lying in the grass right next to my feet!

  I quick picked them up. And I crashed them together so I wouldn't hear the laughing.

  And it worked, I tell you! It worked! I couldn't hear the laughing at all!

  That's how come I crashed them again … and again … and again, until my arms got tired.

  And guess what?

  When I finally stopped, no one was even laughing anymore.

  I felt a little better.

  Cymbals are very enjoyable.

  After that, I stood in the middle of the field. And I rocked back and forth on my feet very thinking. ’Cause I didn't know what to do next, of course.

  Just then, I heard shouting.

  “BORRRRING!” yelled a voice.

  “DON'T JUST STAND THERE … DO SOMETHING!” yelled a different voice.

  I looked up. The boys who shouted were being taken away by their teacher.

  But it was already too late.

  More tears were coming in my eyes.

  Mr. Scary started comi
ng to get me.

  My brain began to panic. ’Cause this was the stupidest halftime show I ever even saw.

  The children started laughing again. They would be laughing at me for the rest of their life, probably!

  Then, all of a sudden, my eyes glanced over to Sheldon's microphone.

  And what do you know? A brand-new idea popped into my head!

  And it's called, Hey! Maybe I could sing a song just like Sheldon was going to do!

  I grinned real big.

  Yes! Yes!

  I could sing “The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow” from the hit musical Annie. ’Cause I love that tune, I tell you!

  I hurried over to the microphone.

  Then I opened my mouth to sing. Only I couldn't actually remember how that song started.

  Mr. Scary was getting closer.

  My brain panicked some more.

  Then, out of nowhere, I heard a— PLOP!

  I looked down.

  Something had landed on the ground next to my boots.

  I looked closer.

  It was a flaky biscuit, I believe.

  PLOP, PLOP, PLOP!

  Two more biscuits. And a small plum.

  Then suddenly, there was another fuss in the stands.

  And two more kids were getting led away by their teacher.

  That's when I got it.

  That's when I figured out that those meanie kids had thrown food at me!

  And throwing food is the biggest insult you can even do!

  At first, my face turned red as a tomato.

  Then I felt myself getting mad.

  And I got madder …

  And madder …

  And then I picked up those biscuits!

  And I started to throw them back!

  Only all at once, my brain changed its mind!

  And—instead of throwing them back— I put two of the biscuits in my right hand!

  And I held the other biscuit in my left hand.

  And then I tossed them in the air! One by one! Exactly like my juggle book said to.

  And then, MAGIC HAPPENED, I TELL YOU!

  It did! It really did!

  Because for just a few teensy seconds, I juggled those biscuits way high in the air!

  I juggled them as perfect as could be!

  And I caught them, too!

  I caught all three of those flaky guys.

  And then the whole entire bleachers started to clap and clap and clap!

  And then they cheered and cheered and cheered!

  And the sound of that noise was better than the bestest daydream I ever, ever had!

  I did a bow.

  The people kept on clapping.

  I did another bow.

  Then I picked up Sheldon's cymbals.

  And I marched right off the field.

  And guess what?

  It was the proudest darned moment of my life.

  The rest of the day was a joy.

  We had a happy party. And I smiled till my cheeks hurt.

  Also, I wrote in my journal again.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Copyright © 2003 by Barbara Park

  Illustrations copyright © 2003 by Denise Brunkus

  All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Random House

  Children's Books, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.

  RANDOM HOUSE and colophon are registered trademarks and A STEPPING STONE BOOK and colophon are trademarks of Random House, Inc.

  www.randomhouse.com/kids/junieb

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  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Park, Barbara.

  Junie B., first grader: one-man band / by Barbara Park;

  illustrated by Denise Brunkus.

  p. cm. (Junie B. Jones series; #22)

  SUMMARY: When Junie B. cannot play in the school kickball tournament because of a sore toe, she brings her unique talents to the halftime show.

  eISBN: 978-0-375-89446-6

  [1. Schools—Fiction. 2. Humorous stories.] I. Brunkus, Denise, ill. II. Title.

  III. Series: Park, Barbara. Junie B. Jones series; 22.

  PZ7.P2197Jsi 2003 [Fic]—dc21 2003001208

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